


a truth so loud you can't ignore

by adverbialstarlight



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: A Few Bad Puns, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Catra (She-Ra)-centric, F/F, Gay Panic, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, POV Catra (She-Ra), Pining, Unrequited Crush, but writing shera is hecka fun, i honestly dont know what to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 08:10:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17403254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adverbialstarlight/pseuds/adverbialstarlight
Summary: Catra comes to realize that she might have a bit of a crush on her best friend. How she deals with it is not the greatest though, and said girl that she has a crush on might have to take matters into her own hands.





	a truth so loud you can't ignore

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe it took so long to write something for shera but here it is!! this was really fun to ~~project on~~ write and i hope you enjoy! please excuse any mistakes, unedited/betaed.
> 
> title from youth by troye sivan because idk i needed to stick inside my gay or emo song title theme

It had begun with a smile.

Catra had seen Adora smile plenty of times before, it was a common occurrence really, but there was something about this time that was different. She was no idiot, there had been some sort of shift long before now— on her end at least. Small touches, private glances, intense fluttering in her chest, it was all there. It was kind of impossible to ignore it, not when they saw each other every single goddamn day.

There was something else going on other than just being _really_ happy to have Adora as her best friend, more than just a funny joke or a really nice shade of lipstick. But Catra had become good at ignoring things that she didn’t want to acknowledge for her entire life.

She walked around the school proudly, with a cocky smirk and mischievous eyes that held every ounce of self confidence, a strong guise to the constant press of failure and self loathing that lay beneath. She held herself like someone worthy of something and had a good life, one that was the complete opposite of the voices in and outside of her head that knew that she could never do anything right, anything that wasn’t third best or flawed.

At this point it was easy for her as breathing, and just as crucial.

Catra tore her eyes away from Adora, gritting her teeth and staring back out to the metropolis before them. This was bad, this was really, _really_ bad. Until now she hadn’t been able to exactly put a label on _what_ exactly this new feeling was, but now, sitting on the roof with Adora at five in the morning and watching the sun rise from behind the mountains, there was no mistaking it. Adora and her stupid pretty smile and kind, selfless personality, her inexplicable want to befriend Catra, all of it. All of the small, stupidly miniscule and yet momentous things that pieced together into this dumb crush.

And Catra had never been overly romantic, she’d never played wedding on the playground or read Twilight obsessively in middle school, but still she found herself here, completely gone for this girl, and why, because she had shown her kindness all those years ago? Yes. No. Who the fuck knew, Catra sure as hell did not. All that she knew was that no matter what it would just end badly. Adora would be leaving soon enough anyway, she’d move on to new friends and find a nice boyfriend and never think of Catra again, it would be best to just say nothing and let it happen. It would still hurt, but it would eventually be manageable, but if Catra did something— if she acted on anything or said anything, it could only end in disaster. Adora could throw a punch, Catra had seen her in action herself. It would only take one small inclination of _I like you, in a non-friend way_ for Catra to get a right hook to the jaw. Adora wasn’t one for violence if it wasn’t needed, but if she knew Catra felt like this there would be no hesitation.

“Hey,” Adora said, touching her shoulder lightly. Catra tried to hide the flinch. “Are you alright?”

She forced a laugh but still let herself lean into the touch a bit. “Yeah, ‘course I am,” Catra replied, bringing her legs up to cross them beneath herself. “There something wrong with my face or something?”

Adora shook her head, giving her a smile in return. As she averted her eyes there was something almost _shy_ in them, over what Catra wasn’t able to comprehend. “No, no, it’s fine. It was nothing, just forget about it.”

This time Catra was the one to give her a skeptical look. She tilted her head slightly, turning so they were facing each other now. Adora was close, way too close. Catra could feel the light cloud of her breath in the crisp morning air, could see the light freckles dotting her cheeks and the small strands of hair that still managed to evade the otherwise immaculate ponytail that it was always kept in. She didn’t dare breathe herself but still managed to say, “No, it’s fine. What is it?”

“I dunno. You just looked kind of… sad for a moment, I guess. Like there was something bothering you,” Adora said with a shrug. Their eyes met again and she reached for Catra’s hand lightly. Catra sucked in a sharp breath, her chest exploding with anxious butterflies. “You know you can tell me anything, right? I know that you’ve had some issues in the past with trusting people, but I’m here for you, whatever it is, okay?”

Catra pulled away quickly, moving instead to cross her arms across her chest. “Yeah. Of course. Thanks, will do,” she said.

Adora gave her a strange look, as if she were disappointed or unsure, but eventually nodded and shot her another small smile. “Good.”

Oh god, this was so, _so_ bad. Catra had to get out of here before she did anything dumb. Abruptly she stood, startling Adora who quickly got up as well. Catra coughed awkwardly and took a large step back, realizing that they really were sitting _way_ too close to each other. That was something that she could never let happen again.

“I’m going to head back down,” she said loudly, mostly to herself.

“Catra wait—” Adora began, but it was too late. Catra had already strode up to the door and yanked it open, making a bee line to her room. She needed time. How much she wasn’t sure yet, but she would wait as long as it took for this stupid crush to just _go away._

For the first few days, Catra was doing pretty damn well. Whenever Adora entered a room, she stood up and left. Whenever the other girl tried to corner her somewhere, Catra managed to escape into the shadows before she could get a word in. She could tell that Adora was getting pretty irritated at this game if her flat, exhausted stare and clenched fists were anything to go by. Good, it was good. The sooner Adora decided that she just didn’t have the time for Catra and her dump antics the better.

“Damn,” Lonnie said one night, when Catra had ended up right in front of Adora in the dining hall food line and had trudged back a good ten people before Adora could even open her mouth. Though now she was kind of regretting it. She should’ve gone and found one of the actually tolerable members of her team. “I don’t know what kind of _cat fight_ you and Adora are having, but she looks pissed at you right now. The fuck did you do, Catra?”

Catra said nothing, refusing to meet Lonnie’s smug smirk or to look down the line where Adora was undoubtedly watching her, probably with those big, sad blue eyes that made it seemed like Catra had just kicked her puppy or something. She slammed the empty tray onto the counter with only a bit more force than necessary and began to robotically drop small containers of food onto it.

She didn’t bother to even skip the dish of slightly soggy spinach, something that she normally would avoid even looking at. When she got through the line, Catra scanned the room and opted to sit at one of the smaller tables in the back, taking the long way around the dining hall as to avoid having to walk past Adora. It was perhaps a bit more than necessary, but she was terrified and desperate. They already thought she was some sort of messed up monster around here, why let them be right again?

Eventually Catra began to slip in her intricate methods of avoiding Adora and got caught. She had been coming out of the library and headed towards her next class when an arm grabbed her and pulled Catra around a corner. Not to her surprise, the next moment she found herself loosely pinned to the stairway hall, Adora holding her there with a determined gleam in her eyes and a deep frown on her lips.

Catra was at a loss of what to do. Should she try to run? No, that was dumb and cowardly, probably would make Adora try even harder to get her again. Should she say something snarky to save face? If she said something distracting and shitty, it would make Adora go away, maybe stop. But it could also completely ruin whatever small connection that they still had, and Catra wasn’t sure she wanted to lose that. _Or_ she could just kiss her. Kiss her and hope that she wouldn’t shove Catra away, maybe just stand there in shock so Catra would be able to escape. But then she’d know. She would know and Catra would never be able to even _look_ at Adora again and—

“Hey.” Adora looked unsure now, probably realizing the awkward position that she had just put them in, but still didn’t break her gaze away. There was some sort of unreadable emotion there with the irritation, something that Catra had rarely seen and had never been able to figure out.

“Hey, Adora,” she replied, attempting nonchalance but unable to ignore how breathy it sounded. She internally cringed but something in Adora’s expression softened as she tilted her head.

“It’s been a while.”

“So it has.”

There was a long pause, the two girls only staring at each other in silence. Somewhere behind them a few more stray students rushed past and the bell rang, but neither paid it any mind. They had separated from the room, from the entire place, there was something that was separating them, and Catra and Adora were alone.

Catra’s eyes dropped down. To Adora’s nose, to her lips, to her shoulder, back to her lips, then right back down to her shoulder. Now was _not_ the time for that. She had no idea what Adora was going to say, but whatever it was, Catra already dreaded to hear.

Finally, after nearly an eternity, Adora took in another breath and said, “Why’ve you been avoiding me? And don’t give me any of that bullshit of being busy, I’m not dumb and it’s obvious that you are.” She stopped a moment, and Catra peeked up again. When their eyes met again Adora continued, her hand coming up to touch Catra’s jaw lightly. “You know you can trust me with anything, right?”

“Of course,” Catra said. The words felt hollow in a way, distracted and insignificant. All she could really focus on was the hand grazing her cheek and sending jolts of anxiety and thrill through her entire body.

Adora seemed to think so too, she frowned and moved her hand higher, brushing a strand of dark hair behind Catra’s ear. “No, really. I’m serious, whatever is wrong, you can tell me, don’t you trust me too?”

Catra closed her eyes, trying not to enjoy how Adora’s hand lingered there. She let out a small sigh and whispered quietly, “If I did, you’d hate me.”

A scoff.

Catra opened one of her eyes slowly to meet Adora’s scowl. Her arms were crossed over her chest now but no less close, and she looked ready to kick something. She said nothing but Catra had known her long enough how to read that Look. It was a look that said _I could never hate you, don’t even_ think _that I ever would,_ dumbass. Instead of giving in though, Catra met Adora’s Look with her own.

Eventually though Catra sighed, tilting her head back until her forehead touched the wall. “Promise you won’t punch me if I tell you?” she said with a small, self-deprecating smile. The incredulous look that Adora gave her was enough to confirm that no, she would not. Catra let out a deep sigh and stared at the ground before beginning in the steadiest voice that she could manage. “I like you. Like a whole lot. And not just in a you’re my best friend in the fucking world and would die for you kind of way but more of a—” She paused. “A I want to take you to a shitty movie on a date and make fun of it and kiss you in the back of the theater kind of way. It’s kinda stupid, I know. And I don’t expect _anything_ from you, you don’t even have to tell me that you’re not interested or anything, I know. And if you never want to talk to me again or anything, I totally understand. Just— I’m so sorry.”

The pause after Catra’s ramble was probably one of the worst times in her entire life— and there had been some _seriously_ shitty times before. She waited for the words of rejection, for Adora to run or to actually punch her in the face or do _something,_ anything but this silence. After a moment she shook her head and turned to walk away, mumbling, “I really am sorry. Just— forget I said anything, I guess,” and headed towards class. The teacher was going to give her one hell of a berating for being late again, but she didn’t really have it in her to care anymore.

But then a hand gripped her wrist tightly, and Catra was spun around to face Adora again. That determination was back, this time with a furious blush tinting her cheeks. Her voice was barely a whisper as she said, “What if I don’t want you to?”

Catra sighed. Of course. This was the part where Adora was going to punch her and let it slip to the entire school that she was… not straight. And even if Adora _didn’t,_ they were still roommates, they were still in four classes together, and no matter how much they pretended, Adora would still know. She closed her eyes, bracing for whatever would happen next.

But instead of the aching force of a fist or a shove into the wall or snide laughter, it was the light brush of gentle fingers on her jaw, and then the light press of soft lips on hers. The fluttering in her chest left her aching and breathless and Catra let her clenched fists loosen and rest on Adora’s waist.

So many times had she lied awake wondering what it might feel like to kiss Adora. This was nothing like any of those times— Catra had never realized just how deeply those feelings for Adora ran until now, never realized how much she’d wanted this and didn’t give a fuck that they were in the middle of a school hallway. Shitty kids and prudent teachers be damned, she would be just fine if the rest of her life was spent here in this grimy hallway, kissing Adora.

Catra gasped, her eyes opening as Adora pulled away with a small, disbelieving smile. Her eyes were soft and alight, all of that affection and wonder directed at _Catra_ , of all people. When she spoke, it was breathless and shy, and Catra didn’t even bother to push down the airy feeling of attraction and fondness. “I could never hate you, Catra. Ever. However you’ll let me, I’m always going to be here for you.”

She blushed, looking down to where Adora’s hands rested clasped together over Catra’s shoulders. “Uh, cool,” she said, then winced. “I— yeah, same for you.”

Adora laughed, shaking her head a bit. For once Catra let her eyes linger when Adora turned back and met her eyes. “Good,” she whispered, then pressed another light kiss to Catra’s cheek. “God, how are you even real?”

Catra’s face burned but her voice was steady when she replied, “I dunno, I could ask the same thing about you.”

It was dumb and ridiculous, and Adora snorted and shook her head again, but she was flustered and absolutely adorable— pun _not_ intended— and even though Catra was late for class and kind of embarrassed, for the first time in possibly years, it felt like she could breathe again. There were definitely some things that they’d have to discuss later— so, so many things, but for now she’d let herself enjoy the moment.

**Author's Note:**

> what do you do when youve caught some Feelings for a super cute blonde straight girl you have to see every day? you make it a short projection fic that only takes about 2 total hours to write thats catradora!!  
> anyway, this was my first shera fic and i hope it was alright, i may or may not really love this show a Lot and will write some more shera (catradora and other) in the future (actually its a guarantee ive got another fic already in the works and 2 in planning also i need shera works to apply for zines). thanks so much for reading, leave a comment/kudos or just click on this story to make me cry have a great day/night/whatever and bye  
> find me on [tumblr](https://adverbialstarlight.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/adverbialnouns) if you want


End file.
